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"..your biggest will be the rescue of you, strange how it turns out that way.."
e Bay
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| Tblog: Day 2 |
| 05.22.09 (3:08 pm) [edit] |
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I'm putting my thoughts into words with chipped nail polish and untrimmed fingernails. Trying to think below the surface. Trying to sound like a sane 23-year old human being. Knowing people's ages has brought me to thinking that I have so little time left to accomplish my material goals until people decide to think that I should start contributing to the multiplication of the human race. I should hire somebody to constantly slap me in the face to get me going. Sigh. I'm too lazy even to change my nail colors. "I have done so little for so long." -Dashboard Confessionals
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| Still Random. |
| 05.21.09 (3:02 pm) [edit] |
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TBLOG is accessible. HAHAHA Websensepeoplearelame. Anyway, I was just reading through my posts and my friends' old blog entries. And I thought, "Why the hell are my posts LAME compared to theirs?" I mean seriously, my entries were nothing but rants and posts that very similar with shitschoolisgoingtosuckth elifeoutofme. There was nothing really worth reading. It makes me think less about myself. lol And I even considered myself an aspiring writer. Big. Joke. I guess I'm not really born to do this. Yeah, writing. I was reading Roan's blog. I miss Roan. I miss my loser-self with Roan. We used to talk a lot. When she came here last.. Gawd, I can't even remember when that was. But yeah, that was too short. I just miss the things that we used to do together. And all of her entries made me realize how I ended up not doing what I really wanted to do in life. (Yes, I am a 50 year old person looking back at my past.) I know. Her posts and my realizations are not related. I miss school too. I miss UP. And I wonder why I did not do what I was supposed to do when everyone else around me did. I should have atleast tried to act as a grown-up. Haha Now, it feels like it's too late to do anything. I feel old. :sigh: I always end up being random, huh. Now, I have to scram. Work's done for the day.Yay!
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| Panic and the Panic-Stricken (and love?) |
| 02.12.05 (1:54 am) [edit] |
9 o'clock. 9 o'clock in the morning. 3 hours past the you-must-wake-up-at-this- time time.
Panic.
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The Panic that made(and still makes) you jump at your feet everytime you hear the clatter of the iron gate. The same Panic that made(and still makes) you pull the the PC's plug without shutting it down. The same Panic that made(and still makes) you clean the house in no time. The same Panic that made(and still makes) you water her plants even if there's no water. The same Panic that made(and still makes) your father turn off the TV even if he's watching his favorite show.
The same Panic that caused your elder sister to lock herself the whole day because her tamagochi fell and killed the virtual dog that resides in it. The same Panic that filled and seeped through cracked walls, chipped paints, rotten chairs and tables, the once-red-now-reddish-gray -rag on the floor and the dilapidated ceiling that makes it rain inside...
But what is it that makes Panic-stricken people endure life in a Panic-stricken house? Maybe it's Panic-stricken love and Panic-stricken bond that tied the Panic-stricken people through Panic-stricken time. Maybe. Maybe Not.
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panic (panik) n. a sudden overpowering fright.
A. Sudden. Overpowering. Fright.
A love. A Sudden Love. A Sudden Overpowering Love. A Sudden Overpowering Frightened Love.
Panic. Love.
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makes sense. NOT.
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| dust |
| 02.01.05 (2:41 pm) [edit] |
i
am the
dust that dances
and floats above the dirty water.
how soon will it be until i drown?
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| i'm back. oh yes i am. :D |
| 02.01.05 (3:16 am) [edit] |
okay. thanks to =http://joeshunaene.tblog.com/...joeshunaene. i'm back in tblog. i kinda miss the atmosphere here. and the tbucks and the friends and the tmail and the tblurt(oh the tblurt. refresh the window now baby! ahaha).
actually i have three, THREE, three active blogs. ^_________^ one in blogger (click =http://plueness.blogspot.comhere), another in blogger-but it is a private blog so i'm not giving away the link, and this is the third one. i have a blog in tabulas too. but i seldom update it so that makes it a dead blog. XD
ok. so much for the shameless pluggings. ahahaha
i wonder what happened to my shoutbox?!? and oh my banner. don't mind it. i got from lord of the rings. it's a screenshot actually. ^___^ i'll be fixing this blog soon.
c'ya around guys! i'm checking out neil gaiman's cool flash site right now. *drools*
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| another quote.. |
| 05.05.04 (7:59 am) [edit] |
"we are what we are although we sometimes forget.."
agree?? :)
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| eyes:a poem |
| 04.21.04 (2:39 am) [edit] |
i alternately see
dark and light
as my eyes
open and close
open and close
either ways
i see you
in the dark
i see your face
in the light
i see your shadow
open and close
open and close
open...
i stretched a hand
and i grasped
your nothingness
...and close
i rubbed my eyes
and i smeared
my happiness.
########
i wrote this one early morning, thinkin' about somebody i used to know..
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| i think i was a poet (edited) |
| 04.20.04 (7:53 pm) [edit] |
i think i was a poet
but i died.
the words smelled like rotten flesh
letters looked like dead fish
the ink in my pen is drying up
and as i write
i leave empty traces
of numb senses
the paper is turning brown
crisp
brittle
with every blink
phrases become dots
dots become spaces
spaces become ghosts
i slowly died as i wrote fast
those empty words strode off
before me
and everything went
from light
to pitch black...
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| quote of the day |
| 04.20.04 (3:36 pm) [edit] |
"YoUr WoRdS cAn EiThEr MaKe Or BrEaK yOu."
-from my teacher in communication arts3
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| a quote to ponder on.. |
| 04.19.04 (11:28 am) [edit] |
i was at the church yesterday, attending mass.. well it was i think 1:30 in the afternoon and i was really trying hard to keep my eyes open. but as i was about to close my eyes i heard the priest say:
[b]"don't understand to believe, rather, believe to understand.."[/b]
i got back to my senses and from then on, i those words kept repeating in the back of my head..
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| poem.. |
| 04.19.04 (10:41 am) [edit] |
untitled
flower in the crannied wall,
i pluck you out of the crannies,
i hold you here, root and all, in my hand,
little flower-but if i could understand
what you are, root and all, and all in all,
i should know what God and man is..
-alfred lord tennyson-
.............
i don't if this poem is really nice.. but somehow i liked it.. i dunno..
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| happeee.. |
| 04.19.04 (10:34 am) [edit] |
yes!! finally i'm able to update my blog!! yahooo.. :) AND i think i'm never gonna be bored again!
summer classes will start tomorrow and i can't wait to go to school!! it's my only espcape from here.. oohhhh this house makes me sick.. i've got nothing to do here!!!
yes....
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| sorry for the inconvenience |
| 04.06.04 (4:25 am) [edit] |
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ei guys. sorry bout this. you see my blog really sucks right now.. :D im trying to change everything here but i don't have the time.. but i'm gonna make it better.. i promise.. i hope you will like it.. till next time! ^_^
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| brandon boyd |
| 04.06.04 (3:22 am) [edit] |
PLEASE MARRY ME NOW!!!
......i think i'm crazy...
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| poem.. |
| 04.01.04 (3:51 pm) [edit] |
UNTITLED
She stood on the edge
And said she wished she could fly.
So I pushed her.
And she did.
Confusion and bright lights swirled around me.
I laughed as the mean asked questions.
Men. What do they know?
I strolled home, my heart a bit saddened.
The people in my house tried to comfort me.
I didn’t know why.
Maybe the pitied me because they knew
I didn’t deserve what she had.
What she had.
Peace. Pride.
What you forget is that they forget.
She looked so pretty sailing through the air,
Arms outstretched. Just like an angel.
Didn’t they know what she died for....?
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| blah blah in the bedside |
| 03.30.04 (3:23 am) [edit] |
on vincent van gogh..
"Vincent van Gogh was born near Brabant, the son of a minister. In 1869, he got a position at the art dealers, Goupil and Co. in The Hague, through his uncle, and worked with them until he was dismissed from the London office in 1873. He worked as a schoolmaster in England (1876), before training for the ministry at Amsterdam University (1877). After he failed to get a post in the Church, he went to live as an independent missionary among the Borinage miners.
"He was largely self-taught as an artist, although he received help from his cousin, Mauve. His first works were heavily painted, mud-colored and clumsy attempts to represent the life of the poor (e.g. Potato-Eaters, 1885, Amsterdam), influenced by one of his artistic heroes, Millet. He moved to Paris in 1886, living with his devoted brother, Theo, who as a dealer introduced him to artists like Gauguin, Pissarro, Seurat and Toulouse-Lautrec. In Paris, he discovered color as well as the divisionist ideas which helped to create the distinctive dashed brushstrokes of his later work (e.g. Pere Tanguy, 1887, Paris). He moved to Arles, in the south of France, in 1888, hoping to establish an artists' colony there, and was immediately struck by the hot reds and yellows of the Mediterranean, which he increasingly used symbolically to represent his own moods (e.g. Sunflowers, 1888, London, National Gallery). He was joined briefly by Gauguin in October 1888, and managed in some works to combine his own ideas with the latter's Synthetism (e.g. The Sower, 1888, Amsterdam), but the visit was not a success. A final argument led to the infamous episode in which Van Gogh mutilated his ear.
"In 1889, he became a voluntary patient at the St. Remy asylum, where he continued to paint, often making copies of artists he admired. His palette softened to mauves and pinks, but his brushwork was increasingly agitated, the dashes constructed into swirling, twisted shapes, often seen as symbolic of his mental state (e.g. Ravine, 1889, Otterlo). He moved to Auvers, to be closer to Theo in 1890 - his last 70 days spent in a hectic program of painting. He died(actually he shot himself in the heart), having sold only one work, following a botched suicide attempt. His life is detailed in a series of letters to his brother (published 1959)."
...i wish i was able to know him personally.. :)
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| daysleeper... |
| 03.29.04 (6:15 pm) [edit] |
i slept all day!! hahaha that's all.. :D
shucks.. i can't believe i'm bored as hell!! :shock:
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| harry potter 3!!! |
| 03.28.04 (11:58 am) [edit] |
omigosh, omigosh...
just saw the trailer.... and i can't wait to see in on big screen!!!!
can't wait.. can't wait... can't wait... hoooooooweeeee!! :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D
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| is this regret? |
| 03.27.04 (2:09 pm) [edit] |
i was reading a friend's blog and as i go through her words, a thought suddenly struck me...
"Shit... i don't wanna be an architect anymore in the future."
i wanna write.. like what my friend wants.. i wanna do what she does..
i'm a frustrated writer. yes i am.. i write but i don't know if my fuckin words ever make sense.. it gets me so damn frustrated cause i really want to be a writer and nobody really knows and nobody gives a damn about it.. that's why i thought, writing is such a bad idea. it wont even get me anywhere.. so i shifted to another course.. architecture.. and guess what..
I'M NOT REALLY ENJOYING IT.. math is soooo hard and i have to carry things that give me pain in the back.
i don't wanna blame anybody.. i've decided not to pursue writing and God i think i'm regretting it....
i don't know what to do. i've gone a long way in architecture and it would kill my mother if i'm going to change my mind...
*sigh*
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| i think i was a poet |
| 03.26.04 (3:00 pm) [edit] |
but i died..
the words smelled like rotten flesh
letters looked like dead fishes
the ink in my pen is drying up
the paper is turning crisp
moment by moment
phrases become dots
dots become spaces
spaces become ghosts
i slowly died as i wrote fast
those empty words strode off
before me
and everything went
from light
to pitch black...
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| forgetting.. |
| 03.26.04 (11:44 am) [edit] |
3 long years..
i thought time was enough to forget everything..
forget the feeling of having you
forget everyhting that has to do with you
forget your name
your face
the sound of your voice
the look in your face
forget i ever loved you
forget i ever knew you
forget you...
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| nothing paid-off! |
| 03.25.04 (8:07 pm) [edit] |
two miserable weeks..
two miserable weeks of "sleep-abstaining"(i want to use the term again..^_^) and nothing really paid-off.. OMG.. why oh why oh why???
instead of a pay-off here's what happened:
*i flunked hum2
*i flunked trigonometry
*i wasnt able to pass the final plate in arch. history (but thank heavens i passed)
*i don't know what to do with my speech tomorrow at 8am
.....shit happens, shit happens...
---- i wanna revise this one.. "shit always happens, shit always happens....to me
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| when you say nothing at all |
| 03.23.04 (2:24 pm) [edit] |
the frown on your face lets me know that you hate me
there's a lie in your heart saying you will leave me
the touch your hand says you'll pull so i would fall
you say it best, when you say nothing at all..
see how ugly a song can become with just a few revisions?? ^_^
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| bad trip.. |
| 03.22.04 (7:17 pm) [edit] |
sigh..
sometimes you just really HAVE to hate your parents..
grrrrr...
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| i CAN believe this.. |
| 03.22.04 (12:31 pm) [edit] |
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ok ok.. so i flunked hum2-art and society subject!!!! hahahahahhahahaha i wouldn't be surprised.. after a week of "sleep-abstaining" due to the numerous plates i need to submit last week, i really didnt have the time to study for the other subjects... sigh.. now what..
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