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"..your biggest will be the rescue of you, strange how it turns out that way.."
e Bay
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| poem.. |
| 04.01.04 (3:51 pm) [edit] |
UNTITLED
She stood on the edge
And said she wished she could fly.
So I pushed her.
And she did.
Confusion and bright lights swirled around me.
I laughed as the mean asked questions.
Men. What do they know?
I strolled home, my heart a bit saddened.
The people in my house tried to comfort me.
I didn’t know why.
Maybe the pitied me because they knew
I didn’t deserve what she had.
What she had.
Peace. Pride.
What you forget is that they forget.
She looked so pretty sailing through the air,
Arms outstretched. Just like an angel.
Didn’t they know what she died for....?
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| blah blah in the bedside |
| 03.30.04 (3:23 am) [edit] |
on vincent van gogh..
"Vincent van Gogh was born near Brabant, the son of a minister. In 1869, he got a position at the art dealers, Goupil and Co. in The Hague, through his uncle, and worked with them until he was dismissed from the London office in 1873. He worked as a schoolmaster in England (1876), before training for the ministry at Amsterdam University (1877). After he failed to get a post in the Church, he went to live as an independent missionary among the Borinage miners.
"He was largely self-taught as an artist, although he received help from his cousin, Mauve. His first works were heavily painted, mud-colored and clumsy attempts to represent the life of the poor (e.g. Potato-Eaters, 1885, Amsterdam), influenced by one of his artistic heroes, Millet. He moved to Paris in 1886, living with his devoted brother, Theo, who as a dealer introduced him to artists like Gauguin, Pissarro, Seurat and Toulouse-Lautrec. In Paris, he discovered color as well as the divisionist ideas which helped to create the distinctive dashed brushstrokes of his later work (e.g. Pere Tanguy, 1887, Paris). He moved to Arles, in the south of France, in 1888, hoping to establish an artists' colony there, and was immediately struck by the hot reds and yellows of the Mediterranean, which he increasingly used symbolically to represent his own moods (e.g. Sunflowers, 1888, London, National Gallery). He was joined briefly by Gauguin in October 1888, and managed in some works to combine his own ideas with the latter's Synthetism (e.g. The Sower, 1888, Amsterdam), but the visit was not a success. A final argument led to the infamous episode in which Van Gogh mutilated his ear.
"In 1889, he became a voluntary patient at the St. Remy asylum, where he continued to paint, often making copies of artists he admired. His palette softened to mauves and pinks, but his brushwork was increasingly agitated, the dashes constructed into swirling, twisted shapes, often seen as symbolic of his mental state (e.g. Ravine, 1889, Otterlo). He moved to Auvers, to be closer to Theo in 1890 - his last 70 days spent in a hectic program of painting. He died(actually he shot himself in the heart), having sold only one work, following a botched suicide attempt. His life is detailed in a series of letters to his brother (published 1959)."
...i wish i was able to know him personally.. :)
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| daysleeper... |
| 03.29.04 (6:15 pm) [edit] |
i slept all day!! hahaha that's all.. :D
shucks.. i can't believe i'm bored as hell!! :shock:
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| harry potter 3!!! |
| 03.28.04 (11:58 am) [edit] |
omigosh, omigosh...
just saw the trailer.... and i can't wait to see in on big screen!!!!
can't wait.. can't wait... can't wait... hoooooooweeeee!! :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D
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| is this regret? |
| 03.27.04 (2:09 pm) [edit] |
i was reading a friend's blog and as i go through her words, a thought suddenly struck me...
"Shit... i don't wanna be an architect anymore in the future."
i wanna write.. like what my friend wants.. i wanna do what she does..
i'm a frustrated writer. yes i am.. i write but i don't know if my fuckin words ever make sense.. it gets me so damn frustrated cause i really want to be a writer and nobody really knows and nobody gives a damn about it.. that's why i thought, writing is such a bad idea. it wont even get me anywhere.. so i shifted to another course.. architecture.. and guess what..
I'M NOT REALLY ENJOYING IT.. math is soooo hard and i have to carry things that give me pain in the back.
i don't wanna blame anybody.. i've decided not to pursue writing and God i think i'm regretting it....
i don't know what to do. i've gone a long way in architecture and it would kill my mother if i'm going to change my mind...
*sigh*
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| i think i was a poet |
| 03.26.04 (3:00 pm) [edit] |
but i died..
the words smelled like rotten flesh
letters looked like dead fishes
the ink in my pen is drying up
the paper is turning crisp
moment by moment
phrases become dots
dots become spaces
spaces become ghosts
i slowly died as i wrote fast
those empty words strode off
before me
and everything went
from light
to pitch black...
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| forgetting.. |
| 03.26.04 (11:44 am) [edit] |
3 long years..
i thought time was enough to forget everything..
forget the feeling of having you
forget everyhting that has to do with you
forget your name
your face
the sound of your voice
the look in your face
forget i ever loved you
forget i ever knew you
forget you...
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| nothing paid-off! |
| 03.25.04 (8:07 pm) [edit] |
two miserable weeks..
two miserable weeks of "sleep-abstaining"(i want to use the term again..^_^) and nothing really paid-off.. OMG.. why oh why oh why???
instead of a pay-off here's what happened:
*i flunked hum2
*i flunked trigonometry
*i wasnt able to pass the final plate in arch. history (but thank heavens i passed)
*i don't know what to do with my speech tomorrow at 8am
.....shit happens, shit happens...
---- i wanna revise this one.. "shit always happens, shit always happens....to me
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| when you say nothing at all |
| 03.23.04 (2:24 pm) [edit] |
the frown on your face lets me know that you hate me
there's a lie in your heart saying you will leave me
the touch your hand says you'll pull so i would fall
you say it best, when you say nothing at all..
see how ugly a song can become with just a few revisions?? ^_^
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| bad trip.. |
| 03.22.04 (7:17 pm) [edit] |
sigh..
sometimes you just really HAVE to hate your parents..
grrrrr...
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| i CAN believe this.. |
| 03.22.04 (12:31 pm) [edit] |
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ok ok.. so i flunked hum2-art and society subject!!!! hahahahahhahahaha i wouldn't be surprised.. after a week of "sleep-abstaining" due to the numerous plates i need to submit last week, i really didnt have the time to study for the other subjects... sigh.. now what..
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| .... |
| 03.18.04 (1:52 am) [edit] |
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kill me.
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| no sleep! |
| 03.17.04 (2:19 am) [edit] |
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yeah right.. so im bloggin and i have 3 plates to accomplish before 7am.. and i still have to study for the final exam this 1:00pm.. so i'm plannin not to sleep till evertyhings over and done.. :shock:
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| fairy tale!! |
| 03.16.04 (9:04 pm) [edit] |
read this! haha
FAIRY TALE  nce upon a time there was a young SUPERHERO named BRANDON. He was SLOWLY EATING in the SMELLY forest when he met COLD VINCENT, a run-away CANDY SNATCHER from the WARM Queen SHEENA.
BRANDON could see that COLD VINCENT was hungry so he reached into his JAR and give him his CHAOTIC CHOCOLATE. COLD VINCENT was thankful for BRANDON's CHOCOLATE, so he told BRANDON a very NICE story about Queen SHEENA's daughter JENAI. How her mother, the WARM Queen SHEENA, kept her locked away in a COLLISEUM protected by a gigantic CAT, because JENAI was so SWEET. BRANDON SLEPT. He vowed to COLD VINCENT the CANDY SNATCHER that he would save the SWEET JENAI. He would POUR the CAT, and take JENAI far away from her evil mother, the WARM Queen SHEENA, and DANCE her. Then, all of the sudden, there was a NOISY RAIN and COLD VINCENT the CANDY SNATCHER began to laugh. With a puff of smoke he turned into the gigantic CAT from his story. WARM Queen SHEENA JUNKED out from behind a STICKER and struck BRANDON dead. In the far off COLLISEUM you could hear a HUSH. THE END. Make your own Fairy Tale at fuali.com
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| 500 tbucks for the winner!! |
| 03.16.04 (8:59 pm) [edit] |
you will receive 500 tbucks from me if you can translate this in english!! ^_^ (note: filipino citizens are not allowed.. hehe)
ligaya
ilang awit pa ba ang aawitin o giliw ko?
ilang ulit pa ba ank uulitin o giliw ko?
Tatlong oras na akong nagpapacute sa 'yo
'Di mo man lang napapansin ang bagong t-shirt ko
ilang isaw pa ba ang kakainino giliw ko?
ilang tansan pa ba ang iipunin o giliw ko?
Gagawin ko ang lahat pati ang thesis mo
Huwag mo lang ipagkait ang hinahanap ko
Sagutin mo lang ako aking sinta'y
Walang humapy na ligaya
At aasahang iibigin ka
Sa tangahali sa gabi at umaga
Huwag ka sanang magtanong at magduda
Dahil ang puso ko'y walang pangamba
Lahat tayo'y mabubuhay ng tahamik at buong
Ligaya
ilang ahit pa ba ang aahitin o giliw ko?
ilang hirit pa ba ang hihiritin o giliw ko?
'Di naman ako manyakis tulad ng iba
Pinapangako ko sa 'yo na igagalang ka
ok.. so your translations are better be good! ^_^ send me your trans. thru tblog mail.. goodluck! 500bucks at stake!! ^_^
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| brandon.. |
| 03.13.04 (2:37 am) [edit] |
![]() =http://img33.photobucket.com/...
---isnt he gorgeous? my oh my.. he's brandon boyd the lead vocalist of incubus.. my biggest crush..
poor me i didnt have the chance to meet him in person.. *sigh*
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| just don't know what to do.. |
| 03.12.04 (2:43 pm) [edit] |
what i'm supposed to do:
1) draft perspectives = 4 plates due on monday
2) write 2 manuscripts for informative and persuasive speeches
3) watercolor plate also due on monday
4) study for another math exam!!!
5) memorize almost 300 photos and paintings with artist for the final exam in humanities
6) buy materials for the miniature of the parthenon due next week
what i'm doing:
blogging and nothing else..
*sigh* just dont know what to do.. got only how many.. 3 days? yup only 3 days to finish the above mentioned.. help me..
i hate OUR SCHOOL when it comes to this.. ^_^
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| too much for the MATH thingie.. here's an afterthought of nothing.. |
| 03.12.04 (1:50 am) [edit] |
THE OPPOSITES
invisibly visible
a peaceful war
the friendly enemy
the silent explosion
the crying clown
the endless beginning
the familiar stranger
a dumb nerd
the passive activist
a hopeless dreamer
a soft stone
the weak hero...
*some of those lines were taken from somebody else's thoughts..
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| MATH!! yeah right.. |
| 03.11.04 (3:30 pm) [edit] |
Find sin t if cos t/2=13/5 and t is in the second quadrant..
grrrr~~~ ahh@#$^%#&$%*$^!!! these figures kept appearing in my mind!!!
WTF does these figures have to do with me?!?!?!?!? grrrr.....
*sorry.. just soooooooooo depressed.. :cry:
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| i'm sinking |
| 03.11.04 (2:13 pm) [edit] |
huhuhuhuh... i really think i'm going to fail my math subject.... :( damn.. why does it have to be soo000 DIFFICULT!!
my teacher in speech communication said: "letters are supposed to be read, not computed.."
..hahahahaha.. i can relate to that.. ^_^
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| procrastinating again.. |
| 03.10.04 (6:59 pm) [edit] |
![]() =http://img33.photobucket.com/...
i'm supposed to behome now doing my PLATESSSSSSS.. but guess what? i'm still here at an internet cafe TRYING HARD to make my blog look *nicer*.. hahahah
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| i miss my bed |
| 03.10.04 (3:15 am) [edit] |
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its almost morning and im still up! hahaha i was too busy updating my blog.. hope the outcome will be worth my "vigil".. hahah ^_^ enoy my blog guys.. and thanx for visiting.. ^_^
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| i hate math.. :( |
| 03.09.04 (2:57 pm) [edit] |
I HATE MATH!! but what can i do?? im bound to chew on numbers for the rest of my college life... i'm an architecture student and im completely doomed...
i didnt even pass the 2 long exams!!! waaaaaa!!!!!!!!!! i hate math, i hate math and i definitely hate math!!!!!!!! :evil:
huhuhuhuhu
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| harry potter stuff.. ^_^ |
| 03.08.04 (4:24 pm) [edit] |
be sorted @ nimbo.net
soooo sooo glad i'm with harry!! hahaha ^_^
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| a song for myself |
| 03.08.04 (3:50 pm) [edit] |
[b]your love [/b]by alamid
verse:
you're the one that never lets me sleep
to my mind, down to my soul you touch my lips
you're the one that i can't wait to see
with you here by my side i'm in ecstasy
pre-chorus:
i am all alone without you
my days are dark without a glimpse of you
but now that you came into my life
i feel complete
the flowers bloom, my morning shines
and i can see
chorus:
your love is like the sun
that lights up my whole world
i feel the warmth inside
your love is like the river
that flows down through my veins
i feel the chill inside
verse:
every time i hear our music play
reminds me of the things that we've been through
in my mind i can't believe it's true
but in my heart the reality is you
repeat pre-chorus and chorus
*it makes me sad to hear this song.. but i still love it.. very much..
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| stupidity strikes again one sunday |
| 03.08.04 (3:34 pm) [edit] |
ten minutes to twelve midnight..
i knew my mom was crazier than hell at the moment but i was still on the road with my friend.. talking and laughing as if there was nothing to worry about..
when i was nearing the house.. i heard the roaring engine of our car.. it was about to fetch me.. who the hell knows where..
when the people in the car saw me, the engine stopped.
yeah.. i knew i was in trouble.. now what?
---
...it was so silent that the voice of my mother echoed through the house.. thank heavens everbody else was asleep..
i was proud then.. i did not cry--RECORD BREAKING.. nice one..
but i cannot help getting hurt by what my mother was saying..
"i know what i'm doing mom, i'm just stupid.." i said to myself..
---
*authors note: jenai knew that her mother was a certified "lion queen" but still she stayed out of the house until midnight.. she did that out of stupidity..
again.. does this make sense!?! :(
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| here's something for the afterdark |
| 03.06.04 (1:19 am) [edit] |
"we are what we are, although we sometimes forget."
oh yes.. i often forget the real me.. most of the time i walk into those busy streets and smile at anybody.. say hello to anybody.. forgetting that i was really alone..
i am a lonely person and i cry inside most of the time.. i forget that i am just a human being.. that my life is just a borrowed piece of something.. that i cannot live forver and that i cannot forever pretend to feel something i don't really feel...
..i'm wretched.. i'm sleepy and i'm cold.. damn it's already 1:26 am..
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| nice one.. from quizilla again.. ^_^ |
| 03.05.04 (8:13 pm) [edit] |
As if you were born into a world of tears, you
always tend to look at the darker things in
life. Inside you crave attention yet push away
society, and you're a hopeless romantic. Drawn
to things like the occult and mysteries, you
spend your time daydreaming.
What Type of Soul Do You Have ?
brought to you by Quizilla
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| for love of mine.. |
| 03.05.04 (5:22 pm) [edit] |
"To say that you can love one person all your life is just like saying that one candle will continue burning as long as you live." _Leo Tosltoy_
...should i believe what great people say? should i believe them just because i possess no greatness within me? should i believe them because i see myself as a fool who believes in love so much that it wouldn't matter if i ever get hurt?
...or should i not believe them because i know that all people can be great in their own ways and i don't consider anybody who believes in love as much as i do a fool?
...or should i never believe in love anymore...
damn this love... :(
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| nah just crossed my mind at the moment.. |
| 03.03.04 (9:26 pm) [edit] |
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how can you miss someone you never spent time with? how can you trust someone you never really met? and how can you say I LOVE YOU to someone you really never knew? n.o.t..e.v.e.n..a..b.i.t...?
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| i like these words.. |
| 03.03.04 (6:59 pm) [edit] |
...is it really true, could you save yourself
for someone who loves you for you?
so many times you just give it away
for someone who..
someone who don't even remember your name...
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| a work of a mind after a crying session |
| 03.02.04 (3:09 pm) [edit] |
do you know your name?
shame on you
100 teardrops
a pair of worn-out eyes
and a broken heart
a weak spirit
a strong mask
with a smiling face
a feeble mind
a false perception
what a shallow faith
you're busted
get a life... uhm..
a new life i suggest
and this time LIVE IT
stop being so stupid
and cry seldom
change gears
from water guns
to laser ones
it'll make you see through
all sorts of things
and don't forget to wear your
GLASS SLIPPERS....
does this make sense?!?
(whatever!! hehehe)
:roll:
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